Learning to Fly

I used to have a reoccurring dream where I could fly.

I would look to the sky and just take off. Mostly I’d fly over the places I knew, places that were familiar. But seeing them from above gave me a different perspective. I enjoyed just taking in the sights and watching the people below.

Flying was freeing. Any problems or troubles would be left behind on the ground. As I got higher and higher they would get smaller and smaller. Flying released me from their grip, their influence and impact.

I could take others flying with me too. I just had to come alongside them and hold onto them. Then they could rise up with me and be free too.

I rarely have this dream now. But I do have other dreams…dreams that need to fly…dreams that need me to fly.

I’m excited as we begin a new sermon series at church and look into what it means for us to fly. I know that the process will be hard at times. Sometimes it feels safer and more comfortable to have both feet on the ground.

But I pray that we would all take a step of faith and help each other as we learn to fly together. I’m excited for the freedom and release the Holy Spirit will bring and I’m excited for the new, bigger perspective God wants to share with us. I’m excited as we draw closer to Him and learn what it means to be His…truly His. And I’m excited as we begin to experience what it means to life live in all its fullness.

And I’m so excited I need to find a new word for excited before I wear it out!

Ladies, ladies, ladies...and some other stuff!

This weekend I went to an event/gathering for the ladies at our church. God spoke to me so much over the weekend that it’ll take a long time to dissect it all and share it here but I hope to get round to sharing some things over the next few days.

I have to admit that I love women’s meetings and ministry…there’s just something in me that is really drawn to spending time with women and wanting them to connect in a real way with their father and creator. I love it when women come together and share their heart. There is so much compassion, tenderness, vulnerability and potential (and usually lots of tears and tissues too). I left the weekend feeling full to bursting with a whole range of stuff! I am really looking forward to hopefully being able to get more involved in this area of ministry in the future.

I was also a little anxious. I still don’t know that many people at church and I was slightly worried that I’d be on my own. However this didn’t happen at all. I got to spend time with lots of ladies that I had met briefly before as well as new people I’d never met. I had some great conversations and just times of laughter and girly stuff. It was refreshing. It was definitely what I needed.

For me the overriding feeling of the weekend was one of being home. This has been something I have missed for a long time and moving to Edinburgh to be part of mbc was driven by the desire to be somewhere where we could feel at home and be part of the family. This has certainly been true over the last year but on Friday night I was literally overwhelmed by the sense of being welcomed, at rest, free, comfortable, open, just me…at home.

I really felt God say to me that ‘home is where the heart is’.

As I have moved a few times in the last few years, I have sometimes struggled to feel settled and at home. But I’ve felt that God has let me know in the past that as long as my heart was there and that my heart was His, He would make it home.

However, this time I felt the meaning was different. I felt that God was saying it felt like home because we had all come with our hearts ready and expectant and open to God, and to each other. We had literally brought our hearts. And because of that, God had come and connected His heart to ours. And He had revealed some of our heavenly home.

When I opened the curtains on Saturday morning I looked across the street and almost couldn’t believe my eyes. There, in the snow, someone’s tyre tracks had made two hearts. Not separate, but connected, touching, joined.

I love, love, love it when God shows me things like that!

There are so many other things to share from this weekend, both from the ladies gathering and the new sermon series ‘fly’, but this post has already got ridiculously long!

But can I encourage anyone who is reading this take some time to bring your heart to God. All of it, not just the bits you want Him to see. When you do, He will draw His heart to yours…not separate, but connected, touching, joined…and you can feel totally at home.

Tummy Tuesday - 27 weeks

So, here is my expanding midrift at 27 weeks.

Definitely looking pregnant now...which hopefully means people don't think I've just over-indulged at Christmas!

Happy Tuesday x

Say What?!

So, sometimes I am slow. Very slow.

I am very slowly coming to the realisation that my words have a big impact. Both positive and negative. Both on myself and those around me.
I am also slowly coming to the realisation that I moan a lot.

These are slow realisations because, although I know these things in my head, they are taking a long (llllooooooonnnnnnnnggggggg) time to have an impact in my day to day life. Like I said, sometimes I’m very slow!

It’s like the revelation of the reality of my words is slowly unfolding one leaf/petal/slap around the face at a time. And I feel that I should know better by now!

The biggest revelation recently? The impact that my words have on me.

It’s obvious that when I moan or say something negative to someone else it gets them down…but it gets me down too…even if I don’t realise it. And sometimes I’m so quick to moan that I don’t leave enough space/time/air for more positive things to be said/thought/done.

Another recent realisation…if I can’t think of anything positive to say…don’t say anything at all! Seriously.

I have made a deliberate effort to not say anything sometimes at work. In fact, I have started listening to my ipod more because I realised that if I didn’t hear some of the things I found annoying going on around me, I didn’t then moan or complain about them. Plus, listening to worship music is always good for the soul!

Recently I heard how we should think when we speak and our words should be:
T – truth
H – helpful
I –inspired
N – necessary
K – kind

So as I endeavour to ‘think’ about what I say, 2010 will hopefully be a year of less words which in some ways may be a year of more!

Like a Lion

I have this hair. Although it’s more like a mane.
It’s thick and wavy and sometimes very uncontrollable.

I used to have it short, very short just so it could be tamed. But it was still pretty wild.

Now I keep it long(ish) but there’s just so much of it that it drives me wild!

I love having it longer and am desperate to do more with it than just tying it up or wearing it down. But there’s just so much of it! It takes forever just to stop it looking so wild and unkempt.

I’d love to embrace its inner wildness. But it’s not one of those stylish, quirky wildnesses where everyone thinks you’re hip and cool. It’s more of an ‘I live in the bush and don’t own a brush’ wildnesses where everyone thinks you’ve forgotten to groom.

Oh, the dilemmas of having big hair!

Manual for Life

I lay there awake, but not wanting to be awake. It must’ve been about 2am and I had one dead leg, one dead arm and a very full bladder. This, it would seem, is now a regular occurrence for me!

I climbed back into bed after emptying my bladder and waking my leg hoping to drift into a deep, fulfilling sleep. But then a thought took up residence in my head and I just couldn’t get it to move out. I fought it for about an hour before eventually my eyelids took over and I fell back to sleep.

Here's the thought: When I became pregnant I didn’t automatically gain the new knowledge and information I needed to understand what my body would go through and what was happening inside me. Nor did a super informative guidebook get posted through my letter box with everything I would ever possibly need to know. Instead, I had to choose to seek out this information, to buy or borrow books and learn what I needed to know for myself.

My body was created with the awesome ability to build and grow a baby and it can do it perfectly well whether I know what’s happening or not. But for me to take the best care of myself and the baby, both before and after birth, I need to get some relevant knowledge in me which will then be developed through experience. How I communicate with my baby and understand its needs. How I show it care and love as well as guidance and sometimes discipline.

When I was given my camera last year, I took the time to read the manual and learn what all the buttons and functions did. The camera was created to take photos, but to get the best out of it I had to read and learn how to work it properly. I had to learn how to create the results I wanted by changing the inputs and settings. I had to glean the knowledge from the manual and then learn by experience.

As a human being I am created to have a relationship with God. I have a natural longing and ability for this relationship. We all do. But for the relationship to work, and for me to be the best I can be in it, I need to get the relevant information and knowledge. I need to realize the transformations that need to be made both internally and externally. I need to understand how the things I input and set into my life have an impact on the results I see in my life. I need to know how to communicate with God. How to hear Him speak to me. How to recognise His care and love. How to be aware of His guidance and discipline. How to love and care for others. How to show others His hope and His peace.

I wasn’t born with all of this information already on board. But I have the best manual ever to learn it from. I have been fortunate to grow up in a Christian family and have many copies of the Bible in different versions. I have read some of it many times, but I know there are parts that I have never read (Zephaniah and Jude for example!) and other parts I have very limited or confused knowledge of.

For many years I have wanted to commit to reading the entire Bible…in one year. It’s never happened, and like I said in a previous post, I just ended up feeling guilty for being a failure!

This year I really want to commit to spending more time reading my Bible and gleaning that vital knowledge from it. It’s already day 6 of the New Year and I’m very behind if I want to complete it within the year! But rather than allowing myself to start along a downward spiral of comparison with my ideals, I have decided just to do what I can and pray that God will teach me what I need to know at the pace I need to know it.

So, it may take me 12, 18, 24 or more months but I am challenging myself to read the entire Bible, and hoping that some people will encourage me and keep me accountable!

There are other things I hope to achieve this year but I want to make sure that as I start 2010, as I continue to learn how to be a wife, sister, daughter, grand-daughter and now a mother, I have placed the most important relationship first.

Christmas and New Year Shenanigans

So, I thought I'd show you a few photos of what we got up to over Christmas and the New Year...i.e. not a lot!

Christmas Day was very calm and civilised. This is me modelling one of my new maternity tops!

Some of the afternoon was spent Skyping my family...this turned out to be rather chaotic, but still fun!

On New Years Day we went for a walk in a local park. Sledging was not on the agenda this year...we're all too sensible it would seem!

This is me with my brother and his wife.

There was an interesting tree that looked like it had been cut down in its past but had continued to grow and thrive despite the harsh treatment! Sometimes nature speaks to me louder than anything!

And someone had left bits of bread on all the bins for the birds to enjoy. I decided that this was a new definition of a 'bread bin' and thought it was very funny...not sure anyone else did though!

Lindsay: 'oh look, there's another bread bin'

Everyone else: 'hmm, ok'

And here is me embracing one of my few resolutions/hopes/attitudes for the New Year...make everyday fun/special/extra-ordinary!

Happy New Year

It's at this time of year that many people think about the months that have passed and look towards the coming year.

I'm not really one for making resolutions. I find they only make me feel guilty when I inevitably fall short of my ideals. But I do like to take a few moments to thank God for all that has happened in the last year, and look forward to those things that I'm hopeful for this year.

Aside the obvious excitement of our new addition (who is currently doing a jig against my stomach!) who will hopefully be arriving sometime in April, there are many things in my head and on my heart for this year. But I am also mindful that I take the time to lift up all these things to God and surrender myself and my plans to His ways and His plans for me.

I pray for clarity. That I may clearly see that path He has laid out before me. That I do not get caught up in the footsteps of others or try to walk in their paths. But that I embrace more of who I am in God and His purposes for me.

I pray that I remember to take time to rest and be still with God. To get to know Him better and to understand His heart. To take the time to talk to Him about all my hopes and fears. And to take the time to listen to Him and be open to His guiding and His direction.

I pray that I will learn even more how to praise Him when the path ahead is clear...and when it isn't

And I pray that I will recognise His promptings and see the opportunities He gives to me.

I pray that I will be thankful for all that I have and that I would recognise the buds of new life that are all around me.

Most of all I pray that I will wait patiently but not passively. That I will actively and expectantly pursue the purposes of God for me. That I will be ready and available. That I will be prepared, determined and focussed so that I may be used when the time is right. That I will continue to learn and grow. That God will help me to remove the thorns and hardness in me and replace them with His grace and love.

I pray that I will seek out God and be steadfast in my faith so that I may bring His love and hope to those around me.

I'm excited for all that 2010 has in store!

Happy New Year!