Wednesday, 30 September 2009
I feel that recently we have become more than just acquaintances, but I'm not really sure that we could be called friends. I have certainly seen a lot more of you than I would care to. And our meetings have definitely been less than pleasurable for me.
However, I can take some joy from our regular get-togethers. The doctor says its actually a good sign! And at least I can be thankful that it means I am very blessed.
You see, I have been visiting you quite a lot because I have a little person growing inside me. And my body has to take care of this little person so that it can grow strong. And to do that I have to be sick for a while.
I hope that our visits will return back to their normal frequency soon. I can't really say I'll miss them. But I promise to introduce you to the little person who has been responsible for increasing the frequency of our encounters (around April sometime).
I hope you understand.
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
This is the guy who likes to open his presents as soon as the clock strikes midnight, or sooner if possible! And it was his birthday on Sunday.
And to celebrate we went to Ikea and bought bookshelves! I know how to show people a good time eh?!
It still amazes me that this guy, who has travelled the world and seen some incredible things, chose me. That I get to share life with this guy who has an amazing heart and cares for me so much.
This is the guy who knows how to make me smile...and this is the guy who read my last blog post and made me labels for my shampoo and conditioner bottles!!! See how he looks after me!
I hope that I can learn and grow to love like he does and care like he does and be strong like he is. I hope that I can love him like he loves me.
Happy Birthday Phil xxx
p.s. I believe he's looking so happy/smug/chuffed in the photo because I was sitting next to him in a hot dress! Hahaha!!!
Friday, 11 September 2009
But just as I closed the bottle and placed it back on the side of the bath I realised what the problem was. I wasn’t putting shampoo on my hair, it was conditioner. No wonder it didn’t lather. Phew! My hair wasn’t completely filthy after all!
The only problem now was that I had a hand full of conditioner and I still needed to somehow shampoo my hair without wasting this conditioner. Insert crazy one handed bottle holding, squeezing and closing, utilising knees, feet and any other available body parts without involving my left hand! I hope at least God gets a chuckle out of the funny things we do in private moments!
Anyhow, it got me thinking about the things we do just out of habit. Like picking up the bottle on the left first, because that’s usually the shampoo. The things we do without consciously thinking. The things we do just because. Or the things we do because it’s the way we always do it.
I like routine and I like things having a place but do I sometimes revert to doing the same things the same way just because? Habits can sometimes be formed without even realising it. And our habits not only reflect what’s going on inside us but can impact what’s going on around us.
I don’t want to go through my days just doing the same-old-same-old just because that’s the way I’ve always done it. Or because I stopped really thinking about it.
I want to form good habits, healthy habits, godly habits. And that takes time and hard work. It requires thought and conscious decision making. It needs me to stop every now and then and ask why.
Like, why do I get home, and before anything else, sit on the sofa and put the TV on? Which then tends to consume my evening. What else could I be doing with that time? What other habit could I form?
Like, paying attention to the words I say, instead of just saying something as soon as I think of it. What other words could I be saying? What habit could I be building into my interactions with others?
So next time I reach blindly for the bottle of shampoo, hopefully it’ll remind me to stop and think about those things that I do each day without even thinking about it.
But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness.
1 Timothy 6:11 (NIV)
Monday, 7 September 2009
I’m not down or unhappy, in fact quite the opposite. But I’m just having a time of contentment and chilledness that doesn’t seem to encourage any deep or really interesting thoughts. Maybe my brain just needs a rest!!!
I haven’t even been taking any photos to share. I mean, I even let a whole weekend go by with a visit from a great friend, and the camera didn’t surface once. Probably because doing a jigsaw is not the most entertaining thing to document and share with photos…yes, we are that sad! But even so…my poor lonely camera!
Anyhow, just to say hi, and I’m still here and I’m just chillin’.
Maybe there’s some big thinking to do in the future that I’m saving my brain power for!?! Who knows?!
Our small group/house group (I never really know what we’re officially called!) is having a weekend away this coming weekend and I promise to take my camera along and take some photos. And maybe I’ll be inspired with some deep thoughts too…!
Until then, I do have one thought/question……why are there no baby pigeons around? I only ever see full size adult pigeons. Where are the baby ones? Or do they hatch full size?
See, I’m still trying to tackle the enigmas of the universe!!!
Thursday, 3 September 2009
I wanted to cry for the hurt and anguish she must’ve been feeling. And I wanted to cry because I know the person who is the solution, but I just don’t always know the best way to get Him out there.
I get so upset and stirred up when I see images and stories of young women and girls who struggle to feel at peace with themselves. Young women and girls who turn to drink, drugs, eating disorders, bullying, sex, plastic surgery and a whole list of other things to try and fill that discomfort. To try and ease the pain, take away some of the hurt, or become something they don’t feel they are naturally.
And I get upset because even though I think I’m pretty sorted and I’d never resort to some of the things listed above, I still struggle with this myself. It seems that as women living in this fallen world we are constantly at war with ourselves and other women. We strive to find whatever it is that fills the holes we feel. The insecurities, the hurts, the loneliness. And even as someone who knows where to turn to find wholeness, restoration and completeness, I still look in the wrong places first!
Sometimes I’m just such a slow learner!
A nicer house/car/possessions won’t make me feel whole.
The latest fashions won’t make me feel whole.
A big bank balance won't make me feel whole.
A new hair cut might be nice…but it won’t make me feel whole.
The perfect body…whatever that is…won’t make me feel whole.
Drinking until I can’t remember where I am or even stand won’t make me feel whole.
Putting someone else down won’t make me feel whole.
Knowing the latest gossip won’t make me feel whole.
Giving my body to someone else won’t make me feel whole.
Knowing that God loves me, unconditionally, just as I am…can make me whole.
Having a relationship with God and knowing that He has a promise of a future for me…can make me whole.
Calling Jesus my saviour and allowing Him to take my sins away…can make me whole.
Walking day by day with the Holy Spirit as my companion…can make me whole.
Lord, I pray that I learn to turn to you first when I feel I have a hole. That I look to you to complete me and make me whole.