9 months old...

sorry about the snot!

Now crawling all over the place and pulling up on any piece of furniture he can!

me

I'm the kind of person who...matches her socks...to each other, to her outfit, to the day (yes cake mondays are accompanied by socks with cupcakes!) even if no one else ever sees them.

I'm the kind of person who...has milk in her tea...even peppermint sometimes, but not camomile.

I'm the kind of person who...misses the bus stop because she's daydreaming!

I'm the kind of person who...could be better at keeping in touch.

I'm the kind of person who...cries at random things...happy things, sad things, songs, pictures, moments...pass me a tissue!

I'm the kind of person who...will teach her son to stick his tongue out because it's funny...and then regret it when he does it all the time!

I'm the kind of person who...tries to look for the beautiful in the every day...but sometimes need a bit of help.

I'm the kind of person who...always has dessert.

I'm the kind of person who...is actually quite shy...but still talks to much sometimes!

I'm the kind of person who...doesn't always know when to stop!

Big Word Wednesday #12

Discombobulate
- to confuse or disconcert
- to upset, frustrate
- to throw into confusion

I don't know about you, but when I read some of the stories and parables that Jesus told, and the things that he did, I think that he must've caused a lot of discombobulation!

Let's just take a look at one example:
Luke 10:38-42

Martha opens up her home to Jesus and the disciples. She was busy making sure that they had everything they needed. She was trying to be the hostest with the mostest! She thought that Jesus would see all that she was doing and be pleased by it. But she was upset, frustrated.

Mary sits at Jesus' feet. Listening, absorbing his words.

Martha was confused. Why didn't Jesus tell Mary to help her sister? Why didn't he see all that she was doing?

Sometimes I get confused with God. I get frustrated when I think that I am 'doing' so much for him or 'have done' so much and wonder why he seems distant or I think he hasn't noticed.
We think it's so important to 'do', to 'achieve', to try and be everything. We strive, we struggle, we wear ourselves out.

But he doesn't call us to 'do' for him, he calls us to 'be' with him. That is the only thing we need.

But I still get confused between just 'being' and also being obedient and 'doing' the things God has called us to do. Totally discombobulated!

There are many other examples of when Jesus discombobulated throughout the gospels. Have a read!

money, money, money

January is always a tough month financially.
This year there was way too much month for the money!

Even though it has been hard (really hard some days) God has continued to drop little blessings into our month to remind us that he's still there, he still cares, he knows what we're going through.

Some examples:
- we got a cheque in the mail from the tax man!
- one of Phil's colleagues found some money in a taxi they were sharing and was convinced it was Phil's and wouldn't let him leave without it. Phil was sure it wasn't his but hey, we're not gonna turn down a blessing!
- the m.o.t. on the car was due. When Phil phoned the garage to book it in they reminded him that we still had one m.o.t. left that we had prepaid for when we bought the car. So the actual m.o.t. was free!

I can't honestly say that I have had this perspective or this attitude about our finances all through January. There have been times when I got really angry with God. And there have been times when I have allowed bitterness and envy to creep into my heart.

But God knows I'm a work in progress and I'm so grateful now that I can see his hand over us.

Do you really struggle in January? How can you see God even in the hard times?

Playing in the park with Auntie Heather

Big Word Wednesday #11

Capitulation
1. the terms of surrender
2. the act of surrendering or yeilding

In financial markets, capitulation describes 'giving up' on the market or 'surrendering' to downward trends and pessimism to an extent which involves panic selling.

When we think of surrender we think of it in terms of 'giving up'. We think of loss. We think of failure. And it can make us panic.

Yet Jesus teaches us that His terms of surrender are different.

When we surrender to Him we gain. We find. We save.

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.
Matthew 16:25
(see also Matt 10:39, Mark 8:35, Luke 9:24-25, Luke 17:33 and John 12:25)

What are you holding onto that you need to surrender?
What things do you need to 'give up' in order to gain?

Faith by Spreadsheets?

I spend a lot of my working days carrying out calculations of one type or another. They can be vital to a project and inform important decisions, such as whether to spend millions of pounds and protect people's homes or not. Making sure that the answer I give is correct, accurate, reliable can be immensely important.

That's why we build checks and verifications into the spreadsheets we use. And that's why I spent 2 hours yesterday trying to work out why I couldn't get my numbers to agree! The joys of technology!


As I took a break from the annoying warnings about my sums, I thought about how I had been asking the same thing of God.

I had requested verification. I wanted the same message, which would confirm the original message, but in a different way. Through a different person, written across the sky, in neon flashing lights! Then I would know for sure that it was correct. I would know that I could make important decisions based on this word because it had been validated, backed-up, proven.

But then where would my faith be?

My fear of failure was stopping me from stepping out just in case I was wrong. What if God hadn't said that to me? What if I was just hoping he'd said that to me?

Have you ever asked God to confirm what He has said to you?

When is it ok to ask for more, a sign, to test God's word? (Judges 6:36-40)
And when should we just step out in faith and not bow to our fears?

Cheeky face

Big Word Wednesday #10

Hello, and welcome to the return of 'Big Word Wednesday'!

Yippee! Hurrah! Woohoo! I hear you all calling from far and wide. Ok, so that may be an exaggeration, but I know that deep down you're secretly pleased to see BWW back! It's been nearly a year since our last BWW endeavours!

So, without further ado...

Asteroseismology

- is the science that studies the internal structure of pulsating stars by the interpretation of their frequency spectra

- these pulses provide information about the otherwise unobservable interiors of stars

Alright then. Where to begin?!

Now I'm no asterophysist or rocket scientist so I won't be giving any detailed lectures on the subject. But even my simple mind made an observation when I read about this.

Stars have a pulse.

Let me say that again. Stars have a pulse.

And this pulse, this heartbeat, can show us the internal structure of the star. What cannot be seen by the eye can be investigated by studying how the star 'beats'.

God knows our heart. And He knows how it 'beats'. He knows all about our unobservable interiors.

He also knows that our pulse, our heartbeat can affect how we shine and how we are seen by others. That is why He longs to restore us. He longs for our heart to beat in time with His. For our pulses to have the same frequency spectra.

Then, when our pulse is investigated, it will reveal God. Our core, our structure, our whole being will radiate God.

Let's shine like the stars and reveal God's heartbeat to the world!

Thanks to Alison for today's word.

Any other ideas for big words will be gratefully recieved!

Regression

So, I'm back to work this week after a wonderful 9 months of full-time motherhood (well 1 month of waiting and 8 months of motherhood)! And with the return to work comes a very mixed bag of feelings.

I had a wonderful weekend at church spending some quality time with some quality ladies and a very quality God. God spoke to me in numerous ways about a variety of instances, circumstances, behaviours, attitudes, beliefs, hopes and dreams. And He began to 'de-mist' some of the fogginess that has covered the last few years.

In some areas of my life I feel I have been striving to move forward but have actually been regressing. I have struggled to understand why some things seemed so hard, like I was on a conveyer belt going the wrong way. 2 steps forward, 3 steps back. 1 step forward, 12 steps back!
But now I know that it's ok. That God is taking me back and stripping away the things that are not of Him. The lies I believed, the circumstances I allowed to influence me, the approval I seek from others.

Where I have been putting a plaster over the wounds and 'soldiering on', He has been opening the sores, cleaning the wounds properly (which hurts!) and allowing them to heal in the right way. Through lots of tears and blotchy faces (not attractive) He has been deepening and strengthening my roots in Him. Removing the rubble and building stronger foundations. And although it has been hard, I am so thankful that He loves me enough to take the time to get my heart right.

So, like I say, I'm back at work and in some ways it feels as though I have never been away. I am sat at the same desk, working on the same project, plugging the same data into the same spreadsheets. In fact, re-doing the exact same data I analysed before I left. See how I feel like things are regressing!!!

Planets!

If you're feeling a bit out of kilter today...

...it maybe because of the additional gravitational pull of the small planet I'm growing on my lip!!!

I hate coldsores!

In other news...it's snowing again!

2011: One Word

I've read a few blog posts over the last few days where the writers have elected a single word to define all they hope for in 2011. I've thought about what my 'one word' would be but struggled to settle on anything.

Then I read this:

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

2 Timothy 1:7

And I decided that this was what I wanted to learn/experience/truly understand in 2011.

I can't sum it up in one word but I want to shed my timidity, which holds me back in so many ways. I want to learn to be bold. Not brash or arrogant. But bold and confident in the one who created me and who has big fat audacious plans for me!

So watch out 2011...here I come!