Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Timing...and trust

So, here I am. 41 weeks pregnant. Wishing that this baby would please decide to make an appearance sooner rather than later. But, unfortunately for me, it's something that I have absolutely no control over.

I like to have a plan. To know what's going to happen. To be organised and prepared. But you can't do that when waiting for a baby to arrive.

Everything in me that wants to be able to control what is going to happen is struggling with each and every day that goes by. All the not-knowing, all the wondering, all the waiting.

Exactly one month ago I ended up spending the weekend in hospital. Again, I struggled with the not-knowing, the waiting, the not understanding what was, or might be, going on. God reminded me of a scripture that I have held onto for many years now, and I continue to hold onto as these hours and days pass.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

I don't know and I don't understand why the baby has decided to stay put for now. But God knows when the time is right. So, I just have to trust Him in that...even though it's very hard!!! It's hard for me to not be able to plan and prepare. But if I keep my trust and focus on God, who has blessed us with this amazing baby, then I'm sure I'll know what to do when the time comes...I hope!!!


lynn said...

thinking of you and praying for you. I experienced the exact same thing with both babies and its hard going, you so want to take matters into your own hands and you can't. You are right, it is an exercise in letting go.

Trust him completely as he knows even now the precise medical personnel who will be alongside you.
with lots of love x

alison said...

still mega excited for you linds :)
thinking of you loads xxx