Learning to Love: September 2011

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

Confession

At the moment, I feel like everything is difficult. Life is difficult.
It's still enjoyable...but hard at the same time.

Getting out of bed when you're so very tired (thanks to noisy neighbours), is hard.
Being motivated to do a job you dislike, is hard.
Saying something loving and kind when you feel hurt and angry, is hard.
Getting excited for the future when you're struggling with the now, is hard.

I do have some exciting (very exciting) things going on and coming up. Some amazing opportunities and wonderful blessings. But at the moment I just can't focus on those things. I only seem to be able to see the ditch I feel I'm in. The muddy, dirty, sticky, horrible ditch.

And the worst part? I know it's directly related to the lack of time I've spent with God.

I'd like to say life has been busy, but that would just be an excuse.
Life has been normal, and I have allowed myself to be un-disciplined and slack off.
I've allowed my relationship with God to slide from being the number 1 priority.
And I can see how it has affected every area of my life. My thoughts, my words, my attitude.
The stinky rubbish that has been revealed. The hurts and insecurities that need healing.

So, I'm confessing my apathy and praying for a renewed passion and desire for God.
For the restorative power of His word. For the comforting presence of His spirit.
For the renewal and transformation of my thoughts, my words, my attitude, my heart.
I so need more of God.

Would you pray for me too?

James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Psalm 40:2
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.