Smile!

Loosing my Life

It's 2am and I'm awake. I'd like nothing more than to turn over and go back to sleep. But a little bundle has other ideas.

It's 2pm and I'm hungry. I'd like nothing more than to sit and eat my reheated-three-times-turned-into-a-mush lunch. But a little bundle has other ideas.

What I've come to realise over these last 4 and a half weeks is that my life is now not my own. And at times its not easy.

But thanks to God's continuing revelations (usually at 2am feeding times!), I have a new perspective on the following...

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father's glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done. I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom."

Matthew 16:24-28

I've come to realise that loosing my life is not what I thought it would be - it's not having no life. Loosing my life is a sacrifice, its difficult but it's amazing at the same time.

I've come to realise that gaining life (or gaining a new life) means giving of my life, my time, my resources to meet someone else's needs.

Babies make it obvious when they are in need. And it's usually relatively easy to work out what's bothering them and sort it out (I say usually!!!)

But as adults we've become cultured into thinking that we need to be self sufficient. That people with needs are weak. So we cover up our brokenness or our need for help. We're also not as open to people to find out if they have needs or not.

So in order to find your life...what can you give of your life?

And if you are someone that has a need...be open about it...allow someone to give of their life so that you can both find life in the process.

It's hard work but so worth the rewards!

It's funny...

...how quickly things can change.

Just a few weeks ago I spent several hours of my day sat in front of a computer wishing I was doing something else. Now I'm lucky if I get to the computer at all in a day.

But can you blame me...?

It's jut so easy to be distracted when you have this cute face to look at all day!

Ethan Robert

Born Tuesday 27th April at 23:54 weighing 8lbs 12oz!

Timing...and trust

So, here I am. 41 weeks pregnant. Wishing that this baby would please decide to make an appearance sooner rather than later. But, unfortunately for me, it's something that I have absolutely no control over.

I like to have a plan. To know what's going to happen. To be organised and prepared. But you can't do that when waiting for a baby to arrive.

Everything in me that wants to be able to control what is going to happen is struggling with each and every day that goes by. All the not-knowing, all the wondering, all the waiting.

Exactly one month ago I ended up spending the weekend in hospital. Again, I struggled with the not-knowing, the waiting, the not understanding what was, or might be, going on. God reminded me of a scripture that I have held onto for many years now, and I continue to hold onto as these hours and days pass.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

I don't know and I don't understand why the baby has decided to stay put for now. But God knows when the time is right. So, I just have to trust Him in that...even though it's very hard!!! It's hard for me to not be able to plan and prepare. But if I keep my trust and focus on God, who has blessed us with this amazing baby, then I'm sure I'll know what to do when the time comes...I hope!!!

Elie

Tummy Thursday - weeks 35 to 40!

Ok, so this is like well over due...and missing a week...but I hope you'll all forgive me!

So, the last time I posted a tummy photo was week 34 and, as that was so long ago, I'll post it again here as a reminder.

34 weeks...

Now on to the new photos...35 weeks...

36 weeks...

37 weeks...

38 weeks...

39 weeks...I didn't take a photo! Naughty me! I am now finding that I'm far more comfortable in my pj's than in normal clothes and so spent most of last week in pj's and didn't think they were suitable to photograph and post on here...sorry! But sometimes comfort has to come first!

So, 40 weeks...the official end of the pregnancy...the due date...not that the baby is taking any notice of that!!!

Hopefully it won't be long before I'm showing photos of the bump's occupant!!! Although you might get a 41 week photo if it decides it still cosy in there!!!

Although I'm now getting a little impatient and desperate for this baby to come out so we can meet it and start the next part of the journey, I have enjoyed being pregnant and there are some parts that I will miss. Not the terrible sickness at the beginning, and not the lack of energy and general uncomfortableness at the end. But it has been wonderful to feel it move around inside me and respond to voices and poking (gentle of course). It has also driven me crazy and paranoid when it has been less wriggly...which I'm sure is only a sign of more crazy mum worries to come!!! Seriously, I didn't realise being a mum would be so stressful already!!!

Anyhow, I've rambled on far enough now.

And I need to go and spend some serious time in prayer begging for this baby to come soon!!! He he he!!!

Lazy Days

I know my presence on this blog has been a little less than regular or frequent over the last few days/weeks. I'm sure you're all thinking that I being super busy getting everything ready for the arrival of the baby. Or that I'm relaxing and enjoying the last few moments of 'me' time before my life is turned completely upside down! Or even that the baby has arrived and I've been far too busy to remember what a computer is. It's true, I have been doing some of both of those things (not the baby arriving bit unfortunately) but mostly...I've just been pretty lazy!

It maybe that I struggle to 'relax' without thinking about all the things I could/should/ought to be doing which makes me feel like I'm being lazy. Or it maybe that my heavily pregnant body is unable to do anything at a normal pace or with any form of comfort unless it involves sitting down or eating! But I have really been struggling with the fact that I just feel like I'm being lazy...and that I feel that is wrong!

I have watched the whole of Ugly Betty Season 1 though (it's only taken me like two years) so I have managed to achieve something!!!

Anyhow, I will endeavour to get this weeks tummy Tuesday posted as there are many weeks to catch up on... and I'm hoping (wishfully thinking) that it'll be the last!

Thank you for being my therapist today!!!

Happy Tuesdays xxx